The screen goes black for a moment before turning burgundy... yes that’s right... burgandy. Suddenly in white the words “Expect the Unexpected” flash three times and “Come with me” by Puff Daddy begins to play over the system as one by one every single roster member of PURE is highlighted... Nang Yung-ho... Bloody Tiger... Chiang Ho Nam... Bushido... Yuka Hamada... Ali Khadaffi… Chen Lei-chia... Carl Kimbell... The End... Ebola III... Chan Tin Yeung... The HIT... Cianan... Takumi Umeshita... Inphino Blitz... Cege Hayabusa... Alexander Miyagawa and finally suddenly a man wearing a Godzilla costume appears towards the end when suddenly out of the mist Jordan X Shabazz appears, kicks him in the gut and hits him with a sit-down spinebuster.
The camera quickly pans around the inside of Sapporo Dome in Sapporo, Japan where World Cup Fever is still hitting the country like a virus... in fact Japan is taking on Turkey in the World Cup second round on Tuesday… and this very dome held Italy versus Ecuador and of course England versus Argentina. The camera cuts to the commentary crew at the desk who all three are wear Japanese Soccer Shirts, although Kobentai has a clip on black tie hooked into the collar and Mori has food stains all the way down the front.
Hitomi: Welcome to PURE’s presentation of Ikusa Five.
Kobentai: We should have some great matches for you tonight, including the crowning for the first time ever of the PURE Tag Team champions as Ebola Three and Alexander Miyagawa take on the team of Mang-a-Hero and Inphino Blitz.
Hitomi: Let’s head on over to the ring for the first match of the evening, on Ikusa Five. That’s right, FIVE.
Hanza: The following is a handicapped match!
The lights dim down, Three Strikes of a gong followed by some Chinese Classical Music
is heard over the PA system as The Black Dragons, all four of them, slowly make their way down the ramp. The crowd treats them to a chorus of boos due to the fact that two weeks ago at the last Ikusa, the Black Dragons ruined two, count ‘em, two, tag team matches by swarming the ring and attacking their opponents.
Mori: The Japanese crowd isn’t receiving these four Chinese superstars!
Asami: Is it any wonder why? Two weeks ago we were subjected some Americanized professional wrestling, and that’s not what we want PURE to be. They spit on the tradition that Giant Baba, and Antonio Inoki built, it was disgusting.
Kiyashi: Oh come on Hitomi, get your mind out of the past. This is the future of Puroresu.
Asami: Run-ins have no place in PURE.
Mori: *Sigh*
The Black Dragons are all in the ring now as they await the arrival of their opponents.
Asami: Here come the three good guys that are going to make the Black Dragons pay for what they did two weeks ago when they ruined two perfect matches and spit on the name of great Japanese superstars would made Puroresu attractive to Gaijins.
'Silent Warrior' by Krayzie Bone plays over the PA system as we see Bushido, Bloody Tiger, and Cege Hayabusa walk down the ramp to a good reaction from the Japanese crowd. Bushido, Hayabusa, and Bloody Tiger all touch hands with some of the fans as they make their way to the ring. Streamers are thrown at them, which the ring boys quickly pick up.
Mori: Let’s head to Hanza for the introductions.
Hanza: Hai. This match is scheduled for one fall! To my left, all hailing from China, and at a combined weight of 710 pounds! Nang Yung-Ho, Chiang Ho Nam, Chen Lei-Chia, and Chan Tin Yeung, THE BLACK DRAGONS!
The Black Dragons all walk forward and bow as the crowd boos them mercilessly.
Asami: I can’t wait to see these scrubs get what they deserve. They can’t run around PURE interfering in matches because they think that it’s what would be done in America. These guys used to wrestle in the PWA and the XWA, so apparently they are accustomed to American wrestling ways.
Hanza: At a combined weight of 590 pounds, HAYABUSA, CEGE, BLOODY TIGER, AND BUSHIDO!!
The crowd goes nuts for the three men as they all walk forward and raise their arms in the air. Bushido especially got a large reaction from the crowd.
Mori: This shall be interesting. The Black Dragon’s have four members and they are definitely should be in control of this match. They are always going to be one guy fresher than the team of Bushido, Bloody Tiger, and Cege Hayabusa.
Kiyashi: But you never know, Bushido’s got a serious fighting spirit and I don’t believe that he will allow these four thugs to take advantage of him and his teammates.
Cege Hayabusa and Lei-Chia are the two men that are in the ring as the bell rings, they are going to start off.
Asami: Chen Lei-Chia is a technical wrestler with a mix of stiffness in him. Cege Hayabusa is also a technical wrestler who has wrestled in the Cruiserweight division over in America for the NTICW. So these two have similar wrestling styles.
The bell rings as Cege Hayabusa and Lei-Chia walk around the ring looking to gain the advantage on one another. Cege Hayabusa puts his hand up high in the air asking for Lei-Chia to grab his hand for a test of strength. Lei-Chia looks at him and thinks about it. Lei-Chia raises his hand to Cege Hayabusa’s, and they engage in a battle of strength. Cege uses his weight advantage to get the upper hand on Lei-Chia. Before Cege can ground Lei-Chia he is met with a kick to the back of the leg that takes his feet from under him.
Mori: You see that Hitomi? Not only are they intelligent fighters, but the Black Dragons are accomplished technical wrestlers.
Asami: That’s hardly doing anything of worth, they were going to have a test of strength and Lei-Chia wimped out! That’s a disgrace.
Lei-Chia tries to capitalize on the floored Cege Hayabusa by grabbing his arm into a fujiwara arm bar, by Cege fights him off. Both men get to their feet and share a glare with one another. Lei-Chia nods and tags in his partner Chan Tin-Yeung.
Kiyashi: Cege Hayabusa doesn’t want to tag in his partners, either one of them. He’s going to stay in this match, he hasn’t been in the ring any longer than three minutes, and it does make sense.
Mori: Leave it to Kiyashi to point out the blatantly obvious.
Kiyashi: It’s what Miyagawa pays me for.
Cege Hayabusa immediately runs at Tin Yeung and he attempts a lariat, Tin Yeung ducks it. Cege Hayabusa turns around and is met by a picture perfect drop kick to the face from Yeung. Cege Hayabusa doesn’t fall, he just staggers back into the Black Dragons corner, where he is attacked by the other members of the Black Dragons. The referee immediately runs into the corner and begins yelling at the Black Dragons, who in turn act like they haven’t done a damn thing.
Asami: Look at this, this isn’t professional wrestling, this is plain and blatant cheating! The referee looks dead serious about reprimanding these guys though, which I guess is good.
Mori: But Cege Hayabusa is already beaten up, so early in this match, he needs to tag immediately.
Yeung walks into his corner where Cege Hayabusa is lying. Yeung walks in and he kicks Cege Hayabusa twice in the jaw, which induces blood from the mouth.
Asami: GOODNESS! Did you hear the sound coming from those kicks? That was some serious stuff. These Black Dragons are showing me that they have some talent, and they are not just cheap shot artist. Those were Martial Arts style kicks!
Yeung picks up Cege Hayabusa and he gives him a snap suplex, where he hangs on to the tights and comes up with yet another suplex, he hangs on to the tights once again and he comes back up and he drops Hayabusa with an inverted suplex.
Crowd: OHHHH!
Kiyashi: These guys are very talented, Hitomi. If only they realized that when they are in trouble they should wrestle their way out of bad situation.
Cege Hayabusa holds his face, from which his nose now bleeds. Tin Yeung smiles as he gets Cege Hayabusa up to his knees. Yeung claps for himself as he proceeds to kick Hayabusa in the chest, the face, and the back of the head, the latter of which knocks Hayabusa out.
Mori: Tin Yeung has the most violent kicks I’ve ever seen in the sport of professional wrestling. He is showing that not only can he wrestle with proficiency as we just saw with those consecutive suplexes, but that he can actually kick with the best of them.
Asami: I think Cege Hayabusa is knocked out cold! Tin Yeung has gone for the cover now.
Kiyashi: 1.….2.…. KICK OUT BY CEGE HAYABUSA!
Cege Hayabusa barely gets his shoulder up. Tin Yeung immediately begins arguing with the referee, little does he know that Cege Hayabusa has now made it to his feet. When he turns around, he is met by a kick in the gut and a single arm DDT.
Asami: Now Cege Hayabusa HAS to make the tag to one of his fresh partners, who haven’t wrestled a minute in this match. Hayabusa has been in that ring for nearing ten minutes now.
Cege Hayabusa is closer to his corner than Tin Yeung. Hayabusa dives into his corner and tags in Bushido. Tin Yeung rolls into his corner and tags in Chiang Nam.
Kiyashi: Both tags have been made now! Bushido, who is very fresh because he hasn’t been legally in the ring yet. Chiang Nam is also fresh, because his two other partners have been wrestling the majority of the night.
Mori: Lest not us forget that Chiang Nam is much bigger than Bushido, and in fact is the biggest man in this entire match!
Chiang Nam runs into the ring but he runs into a lightning quick arm drag. He bounces back up and runs right into a spinning heel kick to the face by Bushido. Nam gets up, albeit slower then the other two times, but he runs right into a back elbow to the face!
Asami: Bushido is cooking rice and chicken!
Mori: Rice? CHICKEN?!
Kiyashi: *Sigh* She meant it as a metaphor, and you just ruined it, thanks a lot Mori. I appreciate your commentary.
Mori: Hai.
Cege Hayabusa, Bushido, and Bloody Tiger are now all in the ring. All four members of The Black Dragon’s are also in the ring, the referee has lost complete control of the match and he has no idea what to do now. Elbows and spin kicks are flying around.
Asami: Remember that Bushido and Chiang Nam are the legal men in this match!
Mori: Now look, men are flying over the top ropes!
He’s right. Bloody Tiger and Cege Hayabusa and both on the outside of the ring. Tin Yeung and Lei-Chia both hit dual, stereo slingshot cross body blocks onto them.
Kiyashi: GOODNESS! WHAT A SLINGSHOT CROSS BODY BLOCK! TWO OF THEM IN FACT! TO QUOTE ONE FAT REDNECK, GAIJIN, BUSINESS IS PICKIN’ UP!
Inside the ring Bushido is left with Yung-Ho and Chiang Nam, who are both stomping away on Bushido. The referee checks on the four men laid out on the outside of the ring, who are now brawling away. He sends Yung-Ho back to the apron, where he is immediately tagged in by Chiang Nam.
Mori: I just noticed that Yung-Ho has been outside of the ring the entire time and legally hasn’t wrestled a minute in this match. Which works again to the advantage of the Black Dragons, who are always going to have one man up on the team of Bushido, Hayabusa and The Bloody Tiger.
All the men that were brawling on the outside of the ring are now in their respective corners. Bushido is in the ring with Yung-Ho. Yung-Ho picks up Bushido by the back of his head, and he violently smacks him in the face, sweat goes flying into the air as the crowd boos.
Asami: That was the ultimate sign of disrespect from Yung-Ho there, we all know that Bushido is a student of the Puroresu game and enjoys wrestling his opponents as opposed to brawling with them. That was just disgusting!
Kiyashi: But what can Bushido do in return? He looks dead tired.
Bushido staggers back towards the ropes. Yung-Ho walks over and he gives him a spin kick that takes Bushido through the second and third rope and down to the cold mats on the outside of the ring.
Mori: Ning Yung-Ho is a high flyer too, so don’t be surprised if he leaps onto Bushido from inside the ring.
Yung-Ho gets on the apron and he makes sure that Bushido is in the right position. With Bushido lying down on the mat, Yung-Ho springboards off the second rope and he comes across Bushido’s body with a picture perfect Asai Moonsault!
Asami: AN ASAI MOONSAULT ONTO THE PRONE BODY OF BUSHIDO!
Mori: The crowd here that is pro-Bushido, knows that this match is almost over now.
Kiyashi: Both men are out, that took a lot out of Yung-Ho too. I don’t know how Bushido can go on in this match.
The referee slowly begins screaming at the men to get up so he doesn’t have to count them out. Ning Yung-Ho slides into the ring. With Bushido crawling up, using the ring apron to help him up, Ning Yung-Ho attempts to seize the opportunity by bouncing off the ropes and coming full speed at Bushido. Yung-Ho attempts a baseball slide but Bushido moves out of the way. Yung-Ho slides back outside the ring and he is kicked in the gut, then dropped in a sit down face buster!
Asami: HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM! BUSHIDO JUST NAILED HIS Chimeiteki Ittou, OR THE FATAL SWORD!!
Kiyashi: Bushido needs to get in the ring and tag his fresh tag team partner, Bloody Tiger, because he is going on fumes right now. Both men are completely blown up.
Bushido slides into the ring slowly and he tries to make it to his corner. Yung-Ho slides into the ring slowly too. He grabs the foot of Bushido so Bushido can’t tag, both men are in the middle of the ring now. Bushido kicks Yung-Ho in the face three times, and Yung-Ho releases his foot. Bushido dives into his corner and he slaps the hand of the Bloody Tiger who runs into the ring at full speed. Yung-Ho makes the tag to Chiang Nam.
Asami: Here we go! It’s about time that Bloody Tiger got into the ring, the young superstar from Vietnam is ready to lay a beating on the Black Dragons.
Mori: I am very surprised that Cege Hayabusa, Bloody Tiger, and Bushido have stayed into this match as long as they have. The Black Dragons obviously have the advantage in numbers, and if they were smart, would always keep at least one guy fresh for a moment like this one.
Bloody Tiger runs at full speed at Chiang Nam and he gives him a head scissor takeover! Chiang Nam gets up quickly and he runs into a palm strike to the jaw from Bloody Tiger. With Nam backing up now, Bloody Tiger runs at Chiang Nam and he leaps into the air for a hurricanrana, Nam catches him in the air and he plants him with a nasty looking power bomb!
Kiyashi: This match has been so back and forth I don’t know who the favorite is anymore in this match. It’s like they’re starting from the beginning of the match again.
Mori: Bloody Tiger still should have a lot more energy in him, he hasn’t wrestled too much in this match. Chiang Nam on the other hand, might not be as fresh as the Bloody Tiger.
Nam doesn’t go for the cover, instead he immediately picks Bloody Tiger he grabs him by the throat.
Asami: He couldn’t be going for a choke slam, all of the men in this match are so tiny that I wouldn’t expect such a power move from any of them.
Kiyashi: But wait now, Chiang Ho Nam is a powerful wrestler, and he weighs much more than any of his opponents.
Chiang Nam lifts Bloody Tiger into the air, and he drops him with a powerful choke slam. Nam gets the cover.
Kiyashi: 1.…2.…3!!!!!! WHAT AN UPSET! THE BLACK DRAGONS HAVE DEFEATED THE TEAM OF BUSHIDO, HAYABUSA, CEGE, AND BLOODY TIGER!
Mori: This is indeed an upset, nobody expected the Black Dragons to come out here and show that they are good professional wrestlers.
Asami: I’ve been silenced, but then again, they did have the advantage of one extra wrestler!
Kiyashi: Let’s head to commercial on the heels of something that deserves to be called one of the best PURE matches ever. But what’s happening now?
Bloody Tiger and Hayabusa are in the ring with all four of the Black Dragons as the four men pile into them relentlessly. Ebola III suddenly appears in the crowd and leaps over the barrier, charging into the ring. The Dragons disperse but the damage has been done and two stretchers are carried down to ringside.
Asami: Let’s head over to some commercials while we’re waiting for the ring to be cleared. Hopefully we’ll be able to give you a status update on Hayabusa and Tiger after the show.
((Commercial: World Cup Finals 2002, Quarter Finals start Friday June the 21st with England facing Brazil.))
Asami: Next up we have the long awaited Asian Title Tournament matchup between Yuka Hamada and Ali Khadaffi. I’m certain Jordan X Shabazz will be watching this match with keen interest.
Mori: I’m certain he will be. So let’s head on over to Hanza in the ring.
Hanza: The following match is scheduled for one fall! This is the semi finals for the Asian Title Tournament!
The lights dim, as ‘Fiend’ by Coal Chamber blasts over the PA system. Ali Khadafi makes his way to ringside as he receives a chorus of boos from the crowd. Khadafi doesn’t care much about the fans negative reaction, he enters the ring and awaits his opponent, Yuka Hamada.
Asami: I can’t help but feel afraid for Yuka Hamada. She’s in the ring with a dangerous individual. A man who still has Jordan X Shabazz’s good friend, the Reverend Jesse Kintei.
Mori: Yeah, I think Khadafi might kill her tonight. Literally.
Kiyashi: But we cannot count out Yuka Hamada! She is a very talented female who knows her way around that ring! In fact, she once defeated three other men. That’s how she made it to the semi-finals of the Asian Title tournament here with Ali Khadafi.
Porno Star by Sads plays over the PA system as Yuka Hamada comes out of the curtains to a good reaction from the crowd. She walks slowly down the ramp, making sure to touch the hands of some fans. She enters the ring and glares at Ali Khadafi, a man who has assaulted her roommate, Jordan X Shabazz, on numerous occasions.
Mori: I think that Yuka Hamada would make the perfect Asian Champion, seeing in as she IS Asian. Ali Khadafi is nothing but a gaijin fighter.
Asami: Agreed. He should be fighting in PRIDE or the UFC, not PURE. This is for wrestlers.
Kiyashi: Damn it guys, allow the man to fight/wrestle in any way he sees fit. As long as he wins his matches, I don’t know what anybody would be complaining about. If Miyagawa didn’t want him around here he would tell him to go back to America, and spend all of his time in RUSH.
Asami: Let’s go to Hanza in the ring for our introductions.
Hanza: Hai. To my left, hailing from Los Angeles, California, and weighing in at 210 pounds, THIS IS THE DEM.ON.M.AW. ALI KHADAFI!!!
Ali Khadafi steps forward a few feet and he glares at the crowd, he receives the reaction that he deserves, a chorus of boos from the crowd. They do not appreciate his roughneck ways, obviously.
Hanza: And to my right, hailing from Akita City, Japan, and weighing in at 158 pounds, SHE IS THE HARDCORE HAMADA, HAMADA, YUKA!!!
Yuka Hamada pumps her fist into the air as the crowd gives the former Porn star a decent reaction.
Mori: You know, before this match I had to study several of Yuka’s tapes so I could be ready with information. She is very talented in the business of acting.
Asami: That’s one thing that she had to do to make ends meet, she wasn’t doing that for her own personal sexual pleasure, was she?
Kiyashi: I don’t know what that has to do with our match here, and Mori, you should be punished greatly for bringing it up in the first place. She’s an accomplished grappler and if she was given the chance to actually prove that she can wrestle I believe that you guys would shut up about her past.
Mori: Wow, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
The bell rings as the match begins. Both grapplers moving around the ring trying to find the right angle on which to strike their opponent with. Yuka makes the first move by diving for one of Khadafi’s legs. Khadafi moves out of the way before she can get his leg and he begins stalking around the ring, a sick smile on his face.
Asami: It’s times like this when I’m glad that I am not a professional wrestler. I would not, under any circumstances, get in the ring with a man as perverted as Ali Khadafi. We’ve seen what he has done to Jordan X Shabazz and his friend Jesse Kintei over the past few weeks, but is it right that he can actually kidnap somebody and continue to collect paychecks here in PURE?
Kiyashi: Who are you to question the decisions that are made by Miyagawa? Jordan X Shabazz brought that guy here to PURE, and Jesse Kintei is Shabazz’s responsibility.
Yuka gets to her feet again and she nods moving around, knowing that Khadafi knows his way around the ring. Yuka and Ali Khadafi lock up. Khadafi uses his size and strength advantage to his advantage by backing Yuka Hamada into the corner. Taki the referee asks for a clean break, but he doesn’t get one. Ali Khadafi knees Yuka in the midsection violently.
Asami: My goodness! What a dirty fighter. He’s no man! No man would illegally knee a girl in her midsection, this is just plain disgusting. Taki should show some authority and disqualify Khadafi!
Mori: Disqualify somebody for something as small as that? Come on now, Hitomi, even you know that’s pushing it.
Kiyashi: Yeah but still, that was rather uncalled for.
The referee tries to get Khadafi to back up, but he doesn’t. He immediately goes into his ‘Tiger mode’ he’s the hunter. Khadafi begins smashing Yuka in her face with right hands. His powerful shots are getting her good. Blood begins to trickle from her nose. Her lip is now busted open.
Mori: Goodness! ALI, what have you done to my baby’s beautiful face? I can’t believe this. That move by the way, is called the ‘Dead Ebb.’
Asami: Neither can I, I can’t believe that PURE wrestling officials would actually allow something like this to go down. This is a hellacious battle, and Khadafi shouldn’t be anywhere near a woman. He’s just too dangerous.
Kiyashi: It was Yuka’s fault she won her Asian Title match, she could have easily allowed one of the other three wrestlers to take the match.
Asami: But I don’t think she knew that she would have to face a man as violent as Ali Khadafi. I don’t think there’s anybody tougher here in PURE other than him.
Ali Khadafi pulls Yuka Hamada out of the corner. Khadafi grabs her by her hair and begins kneeing her brutally in her nose. The blood that trickled from Yuka’s nose has some become opened, wide open.
Mori: That’s enough already, Ali! He calls that move the ‘Mind F***ing.’
Asami: *Sigh* You SO can’t say that on the air.
Kiyashi: Don’t worry, nothing will happen. We might just lose a few sponsors, nothing too important.
Mori: My house of sushi will always sponsor PURE!
Asami: *Sigh*
Yuka Hamada falls to the mat as Ali Khadafi grins at her. The referee checks on Yuka, asking her if she wants to continue. She nods at him.
Asami: The epitome of a true fighter, that is what Yuka is showing here. She is busted open, very early into this match, she could easily quit and the pain would stop for her. But she is showing that she is going to stick around for as long as she can. A never say die attitude.
Kiyashi: It’s a gutsy move, but not an intelligent one, Ali Khadafi has more excuse to make her suffer now.
Ali Khadafi pulls Yuka Hamada to her feet again, she is moving around drowsily. Before Ali Khadafi can strike her again, she leaps into the air and catches Khadafi in the jaw with a spin kick! The crowd erupts as Khadafi hit’s the mat. He immediately bounces back up again, angry. He throws his right arm out there wildly looking for a lariat, Hamada ducks and she takes his leg out with a leg trip.
Asami: Yuka is showing some signs of life as the crowd goes nuts for her! They really want her to win after all this pain and suffering she has gone through! This is incredible, she’s making us believe!
Kiyashi: I believe that when Khadafi gets up again, Hamada is going to be in some serious pain.
Khadafi is still disoriented, before he can get up and make Hamada pay for her attacks, she drops a leg drop on his throat, followed by another, followed by another!
Mori: Three consecutive leg drops to the throat by Yuka Hamada! She’s got this match in the bag. What a comeback by the former Porn star.
Yuka picks up Ali Khadafi now, she attempts a kick to the gut, but her foot is caught by Ali Khadafi. Khadafi grins at Yuka, he then gives her a nasty looking Dragon Leg screw whip.
Kiyashi: OH MY GOD! I THINK I HEARD SOMETHING SNAP! That was incredible!
Mori: All I can say is ouch, that is insane, absolutely insane.
Asami: I hope the ref just stops the match already, I don’t think Yuka can keep going!
Ali Khadafi locks in his tight single leg Boston crab.
Asami: Beautiful execution by this pervert! A dragon leg screw, followed by his finisher, called the ‘Scream Out Loud!’
Suddenly Jordan X Shabazz comes running down the ramp with the crowd cheering. Jordan has a microphone in his hands.
Jordan X Shabazz: Damn it Khadafi, leave her alone! WHERE IS JESSE KINTEI?!
Ali Khadafi releases the hold and he looks at Jordan X Shabazz, standing midway at the ramp.
Kiyashi: Shabazz doesn’t get in the ring because he’s a student of the Japanese Wrestling game, he doesn’t want to offend the fans by ending this match in a disqualification, more power to him.
Mori: Yes, POWER TO THE BLACK MAN!
Asami: *Sigh* Shut up Mori.
Khadafi flips Jordan X Shabazz the bird. Before Khadafi can turn around, Yuka rolls him up!
Kiyashi: 1.…2... KICK OUT BY KHADAFI! SHE WAS SO CLOSE! YUKA HAMADA ALMOST GOT HIM!
Jordan X Shabazz stands on the ramp as Ali Khadafi quickly gets to his feet. With Yuka bleeding from her nose and mouth, she walks right into a kick to the jaw the knocks her to the mat. She lands on her stomach. Ali Khadafi gets on her back, and he locks her in a Steiner Recliner type move. He elbows her in the face while having the submission locked on, Yuka doesn’t tap out, the ref raises her hand three times to check if she’s conscious. The bell rings as the match is over.
Asami: A valiant effort, but Ali Khadafi wins the match with his finisher called the ‘F*** Rag.’ He’s moving on in the tournament, sadly.
Mori: That was insanely brutal.
Hanza: The winner of this match, ALI KHADAFI!
Jordan X Shabazz gets angry and he runs into the ring, he tackles Ali Khadafi, and both men begin trading punches. The PURE officials run down the ramp and separate the two. The officials drag Jordan X Shabazz to the locker room area. The paramedics head to the ring to check on Yuka, who is bleeding profusely and knocked out cold. Ali grins as he leaves the ring, happy with the destruction and mayhem he caused.
Mori: ON that note, let’s head to a commercial break.
Asami: Disgusting…Absolutely disgusting. I hope Jordan X Shabazz gives Khadafi what he deserves.
Kiyashi: I don’t think we’ll see Yuka Hamada in a PURE ring again, that beating was brutal.
Asami: That would mean three people’s careers looking ominous tonight. Wait a second…
“One Step Closer” by Linkin Park plays and out from the back walks Alexander Miyagawa dressed in a very finely tailored… bright red tuxedo. He stops Ali Khadaffi in his tracks, and is armed with a microphone.
Miyagawa: Originally I wanted a three way dance for the Asian Title on Ikusa Six in two weeks time. And I still want a three way dance for it. Ali, you are the first competitor in the matchup.
Ali nods eagerly at that notion.
Miyagawa: Either that pain in the ass Cianan or Carl Kimbell will make it two. So I’m going to be adding a third to this match… a man who was knocked out of the tournament originally by Yuka Hamada. I think you know this man already, Ali.
Ali grins as he waits for the expected answer.
Miyagawa: Jordan X Shabazz.
Huge Crowd Pop for Shabazz as Miyagawa and Ali make their exit from the stage.
((Commercial: Final Fantasy X. Three weeks now, and it’s still sapping this card editor’s time.))
Asami: Ok, that advertisement ran late and the wrestlers are already in the ring and about to start.
Loc and Simon start in the center of the ring. The two of them circle around each other a few times before locking arms. Loc and Simon struggle against each other before Loc begins to push Simon back into the corner behind him.
Mori: Loc seems to be overpowering Simon here!
Kiyashi: He must have been keeping in shape since his departure.
Just then, Simon begins to fight back, forcing his way out of the corner. He pushes Charlie Loc all the way across the ring and throws him into the other turnbuckle!
Asami: Nice show of power from Brian Simon! Loc can’t compete with that!
Loc rubs the small of his back as he steps out of the corner. He glares out at Simon, who only lifts his hands to his sides and shrugs before yelling at him to try again.
Mori: Simon’s always running his mouth in the ring!
Kiyashi: Hmph…besides other places…
Loc and Simon lock up in the center of the ring again. This time, Loc and Simon begin stepping around in the lock up. It looks like Simon has Loc in the corner, but Loc quickly turns out and shoves Simon into the corner with his arms still around his neck. Taki Kuonji yells for Loc to release Simon. Loc lets go, but gets in a quick slap before stepping back with his arms raised innocently.
Asami: That was cheap!!
Simon yells something at Loc, who responds back with something sounding like “You nothing, white boy!” The two wrestlers lock up in the middle of the ring once more. Charlie Loc kicks Simon in his stomach and whips him into the ropes. Simon bounces back to be decked with a dropkick from the Vietnamese gangster. Simon rolls over as Loc hops over him. Loc bounces off the ropes with a clothesline at Simon. Brian slips underneath his arm and plants the back of Loc’s head with a Dragon Suplex!!
Asami: WOW!! What a critical move from Simon!!
Mori: And so early in the match too!!!
Asami: glares at her commentating associate as Simon motions for Loc to get up. After a few stomps from Simon, Loc jumps up and runs at him again. Simon flips him over with an arm drag, standing back and waiting for Loc to stand back up. Loc gets up again, only to be slammed into the mat with the Simonplex!!!
Kiyashi: The Exploder Suplex from Simon is devastating.
Simon goes for the cover, but Taki only gets the two count before Loc kicks out. Loc rolls over to his corner and tags in the first person he reaches…his ally HIT.
Mori: Here comes H-I-T!!!
HIT climbs into the ring and glares at Simon across from him. The fans begin clapping as the two stands staring at each other for a few minutes. Then they both begin circling around the ring slowly, their eyes locked on each other the whole time.
Asami: Simon’s smart not to take his eyes off of HIT. HIT’s a cornucopia of maneuvers!
Simon tries to move in, but HIT kicks him down with the Chicago Math. He then picks Simon up with a front face lock before driving him back down with Real Zeroes.
Kiyashi: HIT is going to work on Simon. He’s looking to take him to school here tonight.
HIT whips Simon into the ropes face first. As Simon bounces back, HIT lifts him up in a tilt a whirl.
Mori: This is Over Rotation here!
Simon suddenly rolls behind HIT and hoists him back high in the air with a half nelson suplex!! HIT’s head bounces off the mat as he lies there dazed!!
Asami: Looks like HIT over-rotated Brian Simon there!!
Mori: Ha ha ha! Funny
Simon goes over and tags in The End. The crowd cheers as the first PURE champion steps into the ring and sizes up his standing opponent.
Kiyashi: End and HIT are two men with rivaling move lists at their disposal. The only person that could follow the number of moves in their arsenal is possibly Inphino Blitz.
HIT stands up and looks dazed over to his corner. Loc is pointing behind him frantically. HIT confusingly turns around to get a backflip DDT back into the mat!!
Mori: Shared Vertigo!! HIT’s back down on the mat!!
HIT’s head bounces off the mat again as End quickly slides in and locks on stranglehold beta! HIT yells as he reaches over quickly and gets the ropes. The audience applauds as End stands up, allowing HIT to get back to his feet.
Asami: Honorable act from End.
Mori: What he did to Blitz last week wasn’t honorable!
Kiyashi: True, that title assault was most dishonorable.
HIT shakes his head as End stands there waiting. Then HIT gives a sharp kick into End’s gut. Then he bounces off the ropes and delivers a running knee lift! End hits the mat hard as HIT stomps on his body. Then he picks him up and whips him into his corner. Loc grabs him as he rushes in with a shoulder from across the ring.
Asami: Look at the underhanded double team from these three men!!
Umeshita holds one of End’s arms back as HIT goes to work on his chest with rapid kicks. Then he tags in Loc, who slides in to continue with kicks to End’s chest.
Mori: Lot of tags for HIT and Loc. We might not see Umeshita in this bout.
Loc grabs End by his head and tosses him out of the corner. End hits the mat hard back first. Loc steps after him, but Takumi yells at him for a tag. Loc looks at HIT, who shrugs. Then he steps over and tags in Takumi Umeshita.
Kiyashi: Here’s the only Japanese in this match entering the ring.
Asami: Isn’t End Japanese?
Mori: HALF-Japanese.
Umeshita climbs onto the top rope and flies off with a somersault headbutt into the heart of End. End yells out clutching his chest as Umeshita makes the cover.
Taki: ONE…TWO…
End kicks out, much to the surprise of his foes. The fans clap at his determination to win. Umeshita picks End up and hits him with a sitdown powerbomb. Taki drops down for the count next to him.
Taki: ONE…TWO…
Once again, End kicks out.
Asami: Resilience from The End! What a champion!
Kiyashi: We shouldn’t forget that his Jr Heavyweight title is on the line in this match!
Mori: Right! Whoever pins him wins the belt!!
Umeshita scoops him up again for a slam, but End slips behind his back. Umeshita turns around only to get Blind Luck from End!!! He staggers back into the corner as End rolls over and makes a diving tag to Jordan X Shabazz!!
Mori: Shabazz is in!!
JXS jumps into the ring and yells out as he begins punching away on Umeshita as he stands in the corner. Then he whips him into the opposite corner, where he clotheslines him when he staggers back out!
Asami: Jordan is on fire!!
Umeshita stands back up with the help of the ropes. JXS suddenly pops him over the top rope with a shuffling side kick!! Umeshita tumbles down to the outside. Inside the ring, the fans get out of their seats as Jordan runs to the ropes and bounces off.
Asami: Jordan’s gonna fly!!!
Mori: AIR JORDAN???
Kiyashi sighs as Jordan stops right before the ropes. He looks over the edge and waves it away, grinning as he goes to his corner and sits on the top turnbuckle. The fans begin cheering as Umeshita stands on the apron waiting to get back into the ring.
Mori: Umeshita doesn’t seem to eager to get back into the ring with Jordan.
Jordan shakes his head as he tags in Brian Simon. Takumi’s eyes widen as if something’s snapped.
Asami: Uh-oh.
As Simon steps in, Umeshita springs off the top rope and spears Simon to the mat. He then explodes on him with wild punches on him. Simon tries fighting back from the enraged Umeshita, but it takes Taki Kuonju to pull him off of him. Umeshita suddenly throws Taki aside and tackes Simon back to the mat again!!!
Mori: Takumi’s snapped!!! He’s all over Simon!!!
Umeshita picks up Simon and nails him with a stalling Boukyaku no Sora!!! Then he picks him up again and devastates him with the Dramatic Neo Anniversary!!!
Kiyashi: Both of Umeshita’s most powerful moves chained together in a row! How impacting!
Umeshita kicks Simon’s body out of the ring. Then he flips over with a somersault senton onto his body!!!
Mori: Clear the outside! We’re going skydiving!!!
Jordan X steps out, where he springs off the ropes with a cross body on Umeshita!!!
Crowd: OOOOOHHH!!!!!
HIT and Loc climb into the ring next. They both bounce off the ropes at once, cartwheel, and moonsaults over the top rope onto Jordan X Shabazz!!!
Asami: DOUBLE ALGEBRA II FROM LOC AND HIT!!!!
The audience begins to grow more excited as The End steps into the ring. He waits for Loc and HIT to stand back to their feet. Then he runs up the turnbuckle, backflips off, spins around in a 630, and stomps his feet into the chests of HIT and Loc!! Their backs go smacking into the edge of the guardrail as End hits the ground hard!!!
Mori: DID YOU SEE THAT!!! CYCLOTRON / BURNING WHEEL FUSION!!!! CYCLOTRON / BURNING WHEEL FUUUUUUSSIIOOOOOOOONN!!!!!
Crowd: THE-END!! *clap clap* THE-END!! *clap clap*
Jordan X slides back into the ring as Umeshita continues his brutality on Simon, bashing his head against the guard rail. Suddenly, the fans begin booing as out from the back comes…
Asami: Ali Khadaffi!!!
Ali slides into the ring with a chair and cracks it over the head of Jordan. He stands over his fallen body and curses up a storm at his rival.
Asami: Where’s Taki!!
Taki lies out on the mat, stirring, but mostly out of it.
Mori: That answers that question!
Just then, Inphino Blitz comes rushing out from the back. He slides into the ring and spins in the air with a unorthodox kick, sweeping his legs out from under him while kicking him in the back of his head. Ali falls forward and lands folded on the mat! His head bounces into the chair in his hands with a crash, sending him falling back dazed!!!
Kiyashi: Orochi Nagi from Inphino Blitz!
Mori: What’s he doing here?
Asami: Helping his friend from getting ambushed by that Ali!!
Inphino picks him up by his head and tosses him out of the ring. He begins to turn back, but his eyes freeze on the fans. Everyone in the arena jumps out of their seats as he looks around slowly. He points to Ali on the outside and nods slowly. Then with a short yell, he lowers his head down and folds his hands in a prayer fashion. Then he runs for the ropes, bounces off, and soars over the top rope with a rotating 360 Swanton onto a standing Ali Khadaffi!!!!
Asami: My ANGELIC SUICIDE!!! Blitz hit My Angelic Suicide to the outside on Khadaffi!!!
Blitz shakes his head as he stands back up. He points out to the out of control fans and bows before cracking the joints in his neck. Then he turns around to find End standing in the ring glaring at him.
Mori: End doesn’t like Blitz out here.
End yells out at Blitz from inside the ring. Blitz motions towards Ali and innocently holds his arms up. End shakes his head as he yells more at him. Unbeknownst to him, Loc and HIT were climbing into the ring behind him.
Asami: Turn around END!!!
Blitz tries to warn End, but he ignores him as he turns back around. HIT and Loc suddenly nail him with a double team double powerbomb into a blue thunder facecrusher!!!!
Kiyashi: Double Neurotica from Loc and HIT!
End flops onto the mat out cold as Loc grabs Taki and tosses him towards End. HIT makes the cover as Taki slowly counts.
Taki: ONE…
Asami: It can’t end like this!!!
Blitz rushes back into the ring to help.
Taki: …TWO…
Mori: IT’S OVAH!!!!
Loc sees Blitz coming and goes to head him off. Blitz dives past him as he tries to break the hold.
Taki:…THREE!!!
The bell rings as HIT rolls off End just in time for Blitz to land on him with the elbow. End rolls over in more pain as HIT and Loc celebrate in the middle of the ring. Hanza Kibagame enters the ring with the belt in hand.
Kibagame: Winner…and NEW PURE JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HARDCORE ISOSCELES TRAPEZOID!!!
Loc takes the belt from Hanza and helps HIT put it on. HIT raises his hands to the fans, who politely applaud for him despite his heelish actions. Meanwhile, Mina De Margo comes rushing into the ring to help check on Inphino’s ally, Jordan, as Blitz tries to help End. End weakly pushes Blitz aside with animosity. Mina watches as Blitz steps back silently with his hands at his sides. Then he turns to her and helps her carry out Jordan X Shabazz.
Asami: The situation between End and Inphino is building up!! Let’s take a break before coming back for more PURE action!!
(PURE V is brought to you by Maxis Inc…what, did you think we were gone already? We’re still here…preparing for our unveiling…)
The camera opens on The End sitting in the hallway surrounded by reporters. He holds his head as he slouches forward breathing heavily. Yuri “Quest” Takayama comes pushing through the reporters to ask End questions.
Quest: Quest here…freelance reporter for PURE Digest…what are your thoughts on what just happened in the match just now?
End shakes his head at the question.
End: I am baffled myself on the loss…but more baffled on how I lost the belt.
Quest: At the hands of HIT and Loc?
End: No…because of the actions of Inphino Blitz.
The crowd begins to stir behind Yuri. She looks back to find Inphino and Mina making their way to the front of the crowd. End stands up slowly, keeping his balance, as he faces Inphino.
Inphino: End…I apologize for your loss…but if there is anything you should know, you should know that I had no quarrel with you when I went out there. I only came out there to help my ally, Jordan Shabazz.
End: No excuse. Your mere presence out there was just as interfering as if you came out there and attacked me yourself.
Mina: Like you did last Ikusa in Inphino’s match?
End pays her no mind as he keeps his attention on Blitz.
End: As of this day, I vow that I will exact my revenge on you. Whatever belt you go after…I’ll be there to make sure you don’t hold onto it. You cost me my title…the first EVER title in PURE…and for that, I will never forgive you…NEVER…AGAIN…
End walks away after that line. Inphino stares as he walks off silently. Then he sighs, folding his arms over his chest as he and Mina walked back in the direction they came.
((Commercial: The UK’s Big Brother Three. Complete and utter crap, but why can’t I stop watching it?))
The scene opens up backstage where Jordan X Shabazz is in the locker room area. He's with reporter, Jeremy Johnson. Shabazz is tired and sweating after engaging in a brutal wrestling contest. Shabazz obviously quickly changed into his street clothing.
Jordan has a somber look on his face, almost more serious than we've ever seen him.
Jeremy Johnson: Jordan, we heard that you have a request to Ali Khadafi, who still has your friend, The Reverend Jesse Kintei, what is that request?
Jordan X Shabazz: Well, my request to Ali Khadafi right now, is that he just return Jesse so this whole thing can be over with. Damn it, we're going to settle this in the ring already, what is the point of having you hold him if we're going to settle our differences in the ring?
Jeremy Johnson: That's right, Jordan X Shabazz shall step in the ring with Ali Khadafi at PURE's first Pay Per View which will take place live from the To....
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Jordan X Shabazz is hit in the head three times with a shovel as Ali Khadafi appears, dressed in full KKK regalia.
Ali Khadafi: Fight for your race Shabazz, fight for your race.
Blood oozes from the back of Jordan X Shabazz's head as Ali Khadafi slowly goes into the inside of his KKK suit, and he pulls out two things, one is an envelope, the other is the hood to the KKK suit. Khadafi puts the hood on Shabazz.
Ali Khadafi: Taking the black man back a hundred years, Shabazz, you are a stereotypical n****r.
Khadafi slaps Jordan X Shabazz in the face as Jeremy Johnson practically goes nuts.
Jeremy Johnson: OH MY GOD! WHERE'S THE PARAMEDICS? SECURITY! HE'S HURT! AND WHAT'S IN THAT ENVELOPE?!
The scene fades back to the announcers with the paramedics tending to Jordan X Shabazz, and the demonic and evil laughter of Ali Khadafi ringing through the halls.
We cut back to the announce desk.
Cut back from a commercial.
Asami- Our next match will be a thriller, no doubt.
Kiyashi- I couldn’t agree with you more.
Mori- …
“Courage” by Alien Ant Farm sparks onto the speakers and Carl Kimbell steps out from behind the curtain. The Japanese fans respond- surprise, surprise- with boo’s. A rather loud ovation of the kind accompanies Kimbell to the ring.
Asami- Did you notice that he didn’t cut a single promo for this Ikusa, and for some odd reason, he still has a job?
Kiyashi- Very true.
Mori- The same can be said for the next guy, too.
“Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica assaults the ears of the Ikusa crowd as Cianan emerges from the back. Sprinting down to the ring, he pays the crowd no mind.
Kiyashi- And we’re off.
Mori-(sarcastically) Yay!
Asami- Hush!
Cianan springs off of the ropes and nails half of ‘Fall from Grace’! Kimbell’s eyes bug out as his neck is wrenched into an odd position as a result of the springboard swinging neck-breaker. Cianan now pulls Kimbell up to a doggy-style position…
Mori- Hey Asami, remember when I had you in that very same position last night?
Smack
The Wolf then proceeds to place a well-aimed martial arts kick straight to the ribs of Carl, flipping him over. Carl clutches his ribs and struggles to his knees, only to be cut down by a low, spinning sidekick. The crunch of Cianan’s boot on Kimbell’s nose is clearly audible as fans in the front rows recoil at the sound. Kimbell screams and grabs at his broken nose, blood pouring out from between his fingers. Cianan flashes the cameras a toothy grin before roughly shoving Kimbell to his feet.
Mori- That last kick was quite beautiful.
Kiyashi- I’m afraid I have to agree with you there Mori. It truly was devastating.
Kimbell seems to be preoccupied with his broken nose, which is bent at a near 90-degree angle, oblivious to the fact that Cianan is backing up a few steps. In a flash The Wolf and Breaker of Kimbell’s Nose launches a stunning crescent/wheel kick at him. However, Carl catches this movement out of the corner of his eye, and tries to desperately avoid the move by shooting in on Cianan’s unprotected base leg. This proves futile as Cianan’s foot connects solidly with the top of his head instead of his collarbone. Eyes rolling up into his skull, Kimbell collapses bonelessly to the mat.
Asami- And this one is over before it even started.
Kiyashi- A shame.
Mori- Premature ejaculation.
Kiyashi- WHAT?
Mori- You were speaking of things that end too soon… Premature Ejaculation is ending too soon.
Kiyashi- Bleh.
Asami- So, so true…
Cianan looks out at the fans and shrugs before sitting Kimbell up. Carl’s head lolls from side to side, grotesquely miming a marionette with its strings cut. He takes a step back and rocks Kimbell with a forceful knee to the mouth. Out from the crowd appears Alexander Miyagawa. The crowd explodes with emotion as they see the PURE owner rushing to the ring to make the save.
Mori- What the fuck?
Kiyashi- Indeed. Why try to save a pointless match?
Asami- So, so true.
Miyagawa orders the ref to look the other way as he Cianan prepares to get it on. The two lock up and Cianan hits Miya with a stiff knee to the guts. He follows this up with the Cianan Slash Kick! Miya screams in agony as his head is nearly knocked clean off of his shoulders do the force and direction of the kick. He stumbles forward, woozily trying to grapple with Cianan, but the Martial Artist only chuckles as he flips the owner straight onto his ass with a shuck. He rears backs and connects with a soccer kick to the back before trying to lock in a butterfly submission. Miya shakes his head and sits out, slipping behind Cianan to find himself in a top back-mount position. Thinking quickly he locks in the THERAPY!
Mori/Kiyashi- THERAPY!!!
Cianan tries to scream but only succeeds in swallowing half his throat. In the corner the ref is playing solitaire. Carl Kimbell is still being useless; bleeding and taking up space. All of sudden…out from the back…MAH!!! Another run-in! Whoopty-fucking-doo!
MAH slides into the ring and starts chopping Miya. Enraged, Miyagawa goes to lock MAH in the THERAPY! Surprisingly he does-oh, you thought MAH was going to avoid the move, huh?-and starts strangling the fuck out of the superhero wannabe. However, MAH starts to struggle and bites down on his oppressor’s forearm, pushing both men out over the top rope onto the floor. In the ring Cianan is still trying to pull his tongue out of his throat, the ref is still playing solitaire, and Kimbell is still rotting in his seated position. Cianan grabs Kimbell… FADE TO BLACK!!
1…
2…
3…
Winner: Cianan.
Miyagawa is screaming about and grabs a microphone from Hanza.
Miyagawa: Damn you Cianan. Well you know what, next Ikusa you face Ali and Jordan X Shabazz for the Asian Title.
Cianan raises his arms in celebration as he hears that.
Miyagawa: And myself as special guest referee.
Mori: WHAT?
Cianan looks surprised in the ring but just grins as we hit the commercials.
((Commercial: Coca Cola. Weapon of choice against sore throats.))
Kobentai Kiyashi: AHH YES! OUR MAIN EVENT HAS ARRIVED!
Hitomi Asami: Yes it has indeed, our boss, Alexander Miyagawa and Ebola III will be joining forces against the team of Inphino Blitz and Mang-a-Hero in a bout for the first awarding of the PURE Tag Team Titles.
Mori Morishigi: I’m hungry…
Kiyashi: I really hate this man…
Hanza Kibagame: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and will determine the first PURE Tag Team Champions.
“Dragon Slayer” plays as the arena begins flashing in black and dark blue lights. Smoke fills the entrance way as Inphino Blitz and Mang-A-Hero step through the fog. Inphino cracks his joints as MAH strikes several martial arts poses.
Hanza Kibagame:Introducing first, the team of Mang-A-Hero and Inphino Blitz
Then the duo runs towards the ring, where they slide in and mount the turnbuckles, MAH raising his hands and yelling “GO GO TOKYO!!” while Blitz raises his hands at his face and roars to hype up the fans.
Next, “infected” by Bad Religion plays and the crowd cheers massively as PURE owner Alexander Miyagawa and his tag team partner, Ebola III come out of the PURE-tron and begin to walk down the ramp. They reach the ring and both hop onto the apron and spring over the ropes.
Hanza Kibagame: And introducing second, EBOLA III AND ALEXANDER MIYAGAWA!!!!
Ebola III and Mang-A-Hero take point for their respective teams as the timekeeper rings the bell. Ebola III grapples Mang-A-Hero and leads in with a headlock, swings MAH’s head and takes him down with a neckbreaker.
Kiyashi: Nice showing by the OBVIOUSLY superior team in this bout in the very beginning.
Asami: Flattery has little effect here in PURE, Kiyashi-san.
Morishigi: Where is the concession guy when you need him?
Mang-a-Hero gets to his feet quickly at this early point in the match and both men enter a grapple again. Ebola starts to gain the upper hand at first, only to be kicked in the gut by MAH. Then MAH follows up with a high flipping front dropkick to Ebola’s face.
Asami: Nice technique with that dropkick by the alien hero…
Kiyashi: He is a fool to use such flowery techniques.
Morishigi: I wish I had some sukiyaki…
Kiyashi: Quiet thyself foul dog!
Mang-a-Hero goes over to his corner and tags in Inphino Blitz. Both men go over to the now staggering Ebola and hit a double super kick to his chin. Then both execute a martial arts pose bringing their hands back then forward ala Jinsei Shinzaki and Hayabusa. Then Mang-a-Hero returns to their corner.
Asami: Nice double team effort…
Kiyashi: The greatest team in the world is only a step away from victory yet…
Morishigi: I may be fat…but at least I do not so freely and falsely praise those who employ me…
Asami: And we thought you had nothing but food-related comments Morishigi-san!
Now Blitz begins to fiercely attack the now grounded Mang-a-Hero with kicks to the midsection and chest. However, this only aids Ebola in gaining a path towards his tag partner, Alexander Miyagawa. Miya does not make his way through the ropes, he simply hops onto the top rope and nails a high springboard dropkick to the head of the shocked Inphino Blitz. Miyagawa then flips and lands on his feet.
Kiyashi: Beautiful, gorgeous and stellar footwork by our one and only leader!
Asami: You are making us wish to retch!
Morishigi: This is sooth, Asami-san!
Miyagawa then strolls to the side of Bllitz and picks him up by the rear of the head and then rolls him over sideways into a diamond cutter for a beautifully executed roll of the dice.
Kiyashi: GORGEOUS GORGEOUS MOVE!
Asami: I’m going to have to agree with you on that point, Kiyashi-san.
Morishigi: It’s the concession vendor! Boy, I am going to get me some…
Kiyashi: Pig…
Morishigi: Pork sounds good, yes…
Kiyashi: * Sigh *
Somehow, Blitz gets over to his corner and tags in his partner Mang-a-Hero. Mang-a-Hero vaults in and begins to trade punches with Miyagawa. He blocks a left cross from Miya, and while doing so, pulls something from a pocket.
Kiyashi: Is that a cherry Koolaid packet? OHH NO!
Asami: It’s probably time for…
Mang-A-Hero bites the top of the packet off and pours it into his mouth. He then spits it into Miyagawa’s face and completes the Drunken Kool-aid Mist. At this point, Ebola III has recovered and runs in without being tagged. He hits Mang-A-Hero with a brutal spinning elbow smash and knocks him to the canvas while his partner still cannot see from the sticky instant drink mix which is in his eyes and face.
Asami: The Drunken kool Aid mist….
Kiyashi: *sob* Well at least Ebola III showed his worth at some point in this match.
Miyagawa has cleared some of the mess from his eyes and now he and Ebola pick Mang-a-Hero up and whip him to the ropes opposite them. He rebounds off and it appears that Ebola III is positioned so that he can deliver a lifting face buster into Miya’s arms so that a 3D can be completed. However, Mang-a-Hero stops himself, kicks Ebola in the gut and as he bends over, MAH springboards off of his back into a cross body block on Miyagawa which takes him to the ground.
Kiyashi: NO! THE DAMNED SPIDERMAN SPLASH!
Asami: Extremely well executed athleticism!
Morishigi: *chews*
Mang-A-Hero surveys the destruction as Ebola III is forced back into his corner by the referee. The referee is therefore distracted and MAH signals for his partner Inphino Blitz to come in.
Asami: This could be the end!
Kiyashi: I cannot watch!
Morishigi: Does anyone have some soy sauce?
Blitz goes up to the top rope, presses his palms together in a prayer fashion, and flies off with a 360-rotating Swanton Bomb onto the red-faced Miyagawa and then sits in the corner as MAH hits a diving head butt from the top rope into the groin area of Miyagawa. The fans are explode, and the referee turns around to see the situation.
Kiyashi: That slow fool!
Asami: I believe the match is over now…with the use of the Dragon Drive Z….
Morishigi: ALMOST TIME TO REALLY EAT!
Mang-A-Hero grabs a leg and pins Miyagawa and the referee begins to count….
1…
2…
Ebola III has already left the side but is too late as the final count is made…
3….
The referee calls for the bell and raises the hands of Blitz and Mang-A-Hero
Hanza Kibagame: Our winners and new PURE Tag Team Champions….INPHINO BLITZ AND MANG-A-HERO!
The PURE2002 logo appears in the top right hand corner as the new Tag Team champions raise their hands held aloft for a few seconds before suddenly the Black Dragons leap back over the guard rail and all four dive into the ring. Blitz and MaH make a tactical retreat back to the ramp when they see that they are loosing the numbers game.